Politics
Senator Mitch McConnell, Eighty-Four, Was Hospitalized For Roughly A Month While His Office Declined To Say Why, Issuing One Statement On July Second And Then Pointing All Subsequent Inquiries Back At It; Into The Vacuum Flowed Rumors, Including A Claim That He Was Braindead, Which His Friends Rebutted By Describing Twenty-Minute Phone Calls; On July Twelfth The Senator Ended The Speculation Himself: He Had A Fall, Was Briefly Unconscious, Broke Nothing, And Picked Up A Mild Case Of Pneumonia; Douglas Wishes The Senator A Full Recovery, Sincerely; Douglas’s Subject Is Not The Man; Douglas’s Subject Is The Vacuum
Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, 84, was hospitalized in June and remained hospitalized for roughly a month while…