Culture
March 16, 2026: The Day The Calendar Said 3/16 And Every Person Who Grew Up In The Late 90s Felt Something
Today is March 16, 2026. The date is 3/16. Stone Cold Steve Austin's famous declaration — 'Austin 3:16…
Culture
Culture
Culture
Local Dog Prepares Statement, Hangs Banner, Will Not Be Making Further Comments At This Time
A German Shepherd identified only as Sergeant — 4 years old, 75 pounds, previously described by household sources…
Culture
In The Most Pi Day Story Of All Pi Days, An 81-Year-Old Won ‘Best Technique’ At A Pie-Eating Contest And Her Quote Is A Work Of Art
In November 2025, at Rikki's Sports Bar in San Francisco's Castro District, an 81-year-old woman named Babs Daitch…
Culture
Nation Pauses War, Recession Debate, And Mandelson Tranche To Eat Pie In A Circle, Which Is The Correct Shape For A Pie
It is Pi Day. March 14. 3/14/26. The nation has been at war for fourteen days. The stock…
Culture
Man Refuses To Leave House On Friday The 13th, Checks News From Inside House, Does Not Feel Better
Derek Fillmore of Columbus, Ohio — last seen in Supposedly News coverage on MAR10 Day, when his efforts…
Culture
Horoscope For Friday The 13th, 2026: You Will Experience The News
Agnes Unnamed, Supposedly News's anonymous astrology correspondent who cannot be named for legal reasons that Agnes considers personally…
Culture
Black Cat Releases Statement: ‘I Have Been Walking In Front Of People All Week And I Resent The Implication’
In a statement released to Supposedly News early Friday morning, the nation's black cat community has pushed back…
Culture
EXCLUSIVE: Inside The Cruel World Of Factory-Farmed Peeps, Where Chicks Are Crammed Five To A Tray With No Room To Develop Their Sugar Coating
With Easter approaching, Supposedly News has obtained exclusive access to the interior of a standard Peeps production tray,…
Culture
Last Remaining Streaming Service Announces Shutdown, Thanks Subscribers For “A Really Good Run,” Asks Everyone To Please Just Go Outside
MegaStream, the last surviving video streaming platform following the Great Consolidation of 2025-2026, announced Tuesday it will cease…
Culture
Man Spends MAR10 Day Explaining To Everyone Around Him That Today Is Mario Day, Reports Declining Returns
Local man Derek Fillmore, 34, woke up Tuesday with a purpose: today is MAR10 Day, the numerological holiday…