Culture
The 413,793 Stolen KitKat Bars Have Been Located: They Were In Domino’s UK Headquarters The Entire Time
European authorities have announced the recovery of all 413,793 stolen Formula 1-themed KitKat bars, following a tip from…
Tag: allegedly
Culture
Sports
Tiger Woods Announces He Will Compete In The Masters By Driving From Jupiter Island To Augusta National, A Decision His Sponsors Describe As ‘Consistent’
Tiger Woods, who has been involved in four vehicle incidents since 2009 — fire hydrant (2009), DUI parked…
Politics
BREAKING: Iran And U.S. Reach Historic Peace Deal After Trump Offers To Trade Kharg Island For Applebee’s Franchise Rights Across The Persian Gulf
In a development that sources close to the situation describe as 'unprecedented' and other sources describe as 'April…
Culture
413,793 KitKat Bars Stolen In Europe; Domino’s Issues Condolences And Announces KitKat Pizza; Ryanair Denies Involvement; The Chocolate Is Still Missing
Nestlé has confirmed that a truck carrying 413,793 units of its new Formula 1-themed KitKat range — weighing…
Politics
Week Five War Recap: Oil Is The Biggest Shock In History, There Are 20 Points On Two Pieces Of Paper, Brent Eyewitness Has Covered This From The Beginning And Would Like To Note That He Has Covered This From The Beginning
The Iran war has entered its fifth week. Brent Eyewitness, Supposedly News field correspondent, has covered it since…
Culture
Nation’s Oil At $116 A Barrel; Annapolis Sailors, Who Burn Socks To Start Sailing Season, Have Accidentally Created The Only Emotionally Appropriate Response To Current Events
The Annapolis Oyster Roast & Sock Burning has been held for nearly 50 years, beginning with a boatyard…
Politics
Iran And U.S. Now Have Dueling Peace Plans; Combined, The Plans Feature 20 Points, Zero Agreed-Upon Points, And One Strait Of Hormuz That Both Sides Want To Control
The United States has presented Iran a 15-point peace plan via Pakistan. Iran has presented its own 5-point…
Politics
Trump Says His ‘Favorite Thing’ Would Be To Take Iran’s Oil; Experts Note That ‘Favorite Thing’ Is Not Traditionally A Geopolitical Strategy Category
In an interview with the Financial Times published Monday, President Trump said his 'preference would be to take…
Politics
Iran Has Agreed To Most Of The 15 Points, Except The Ones Iran Says It Has Not Agreed To, Which Iran Says Is All Of Them
On Sunday, President Trump said Iran had agreed to 'most of' the 15-point peace plan the U.S. conveyed…
Politics
White House Launches OnlyFarms.gov, Delivering For Farmers In Ways That Immediately Raise Questions About What The White House Thinks OnlyFans Is
The White House has launched OnlyFarms.gov — styled in the font, color palette, and general visual energy of…