Business
Purina CEO Reportedly Nervous As Nation Demands All CEOs Eat Their Own Products On Camera Immediately
Following the viral collapse of McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski's promotional burger video, the American public has rapidly expanded…
Tag: allegedly
Business
Culture
Area Woman Uses Internet To Ask How To Use Internet, Internet Responds
A woman in Augusta, Georgia posted the question 'How Can I Contact A News Station ????' to a…
Opinion
Man Who Calls Burgers ‘Products’ Now Offers Opinions On How Competitors Could Better Call Burgers ‘Burgers’
Douglas Allegedly, Opinion Editor at Supposedly News, has some unsolicited thoughts about the ongoing fast food executive eating…
Business
McDonald’s Communications Team Holds Emergency Meeting To Discuss Whether CEO Has Ever Eaten Food Before
Sources with knowledge of McDonald's internal communications describe a weekend of 'significant' activity following the viral spread of…
Opinion
Winter Paralympics Open In Italy; Nation Briefly Watches Athletes Do Extraordinary Things Before Returning To Doomscrolling
The 2026 Winter Paralympics opened Friday in Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy, featuring 584 para athletes from 47 nations competing…
Business
Burger King President Eats Entire Whopper On Camera In Statement That Requires No Statement
In what corporate communications experts are calling 'the most efficient press release in brand history,' Burger King president…
Business
TikTok Sale Negotiations Continue; App Remains On Phones Of 170 Million Americans Who Have Stopped Following The Plot
TikTok sale negotiations, which have been ongoing for approximately two years across two administrations, two bans, two reprieves,…
Science
FDA Vaccine Chief Departs Agency For Second Time, Sets New Record For Most Dramatic Exits From A Single Job
The FDA's controversial vaccine division chief has departed the agency for the second time, a departure described as…
Business
McDonald’s CEO Assures Public He Will Be ‘Finishing The Product Off-Screen,’ Sources Report He Has Not
McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski pledged in a February promotional video that he would be 'enjoying the rest of…
Politics
Government Confirms It Has Stolen Your Hour, Refuses To Say What It Is Doing With It
At 2:00 a.m. Sunday, the United States government removed one hour from the American people with no warrant,…