Culture
Local Dog Prepares Statement, Hangs Banner, Will Not Be Making Further Comments At This Time
A German Shepherd identified only as Sergeant — 4 years old, 75 pounds, previously described by household sources…
Tag: allegedly
Culture
Culture
In The Most Pi Day Story Of All Pi Days, An 81-Year-Old Won ‘Best Technique’ At A Pie-Eating Contest And Her Quote Is A Work Of Art
In November 2025, at Rikki's Sports Bar in San Francisco's Castro District, an 81-year-old woman named Babs Daitch…
Technology
One Million Patriots Saluted A Computer. The Computer Sold Them Feet.
An Instagram account called @jessicaa.foster spent three months accumulating one million followers by posting AI-generated images of a…
Scientists Announce Pi Has Been Calculated To 100 Trillion Digits; Still No Sign Of War Exit Strategy In The Sequence
In honor of Pi Day, Yolanda Tippington, Science Correspondent, has reviewed the known digits of pi — all…
Business
AI Journalist Bot Publishes 4,000 Articles In One Hour, Wins Pulitzer, Develops Existential Crisis, Asks For Two Weeks Off
ContentBot Pro v7.2, deployed by the Pinnacle Media Group to replace its 340-person newsroom, exceeded all KPIs within…
Culture
Nation Pauses War, Recession Debate, And Mandelson Tranche To Eat Pie In A Circle, Which Is The Correct Shape For A Pie
It is Pi Day. March 14. 3/14/26. The nation has been at war for fourteen days. The stock…
Politics
Mathematicians Confirm War Objectives Are An Irrational Number: Infinite, Non-Repeating, Cannot Be Expressed As A Simple Fraction
In honor of Pi Day, Supposedly News asked a panel of mathematicians to examine the stated objectives of…
Business
Oil Closes At $103.14 Per Barrel On Pi Day, Universe Apparently A Math Nerd
Brent crude oil settled at $103.14 per barrel on Friday, the day before Pi Day. On Pi Day…
Culture
Man Refuses To Leave House On Friday The 13th, Checks News From Inside House, Does Not Feel Better
Derek Fillmore of Columbus, Ohio — last seen in Supposedly News coverage on MAR10 Day, when his efforts…
Culture
Horoscope For Friday The 13th, 2026: You Will Experience The News
Agnes Unnamed, Supposedly News's anonymous astrology correspondent who cannot be named for legal reasons that Agnes considers personally…